Body image

I want to share some of my personal struggles with self image/ body image.  I often get the statement/question, "why do you workout, why do you need to watch what you eat?  You're already skinny."  This question has always driven me crazy, the reasons why have changed over the years. 
It use to drive me crazy because I thought these people were crazy because I never felt "skinny" enough.  I have had issues with body image since I was in seventh grade.  That's when my body started changing and people started to take notice.  I was often called "big butt" and "flat chested,"  two things that you didn't want to be called when you were 13 years old, things that stuck with me for a very long time.  It was usually my friends and family saying these things and I know they weren't trying to hurt my feelings and they certainly had no idea the profound affect it would have on me but it did.  So as a teenager, even though I was a petite, "skinny" girl, I never felt confident.  That lack of confidence stuck with me into my twenties. 

I hit a low point in my mid twenties where I was very unhappy with my life and began trying to take control of in a very unhealthy way.  I wanted to lose weight, even though I was a healthy, 110 pounds at 5'3.  I decided to stop eating and began living on black coffee (lots of it), goldfish and cigarettes  ( Sounds healthy, right?!)  Fortunately for me, I soon met my wonderful soon to be husband, who must have been crazy for wanting to get involved with someone like me.  But God always knows what he's doing!  We quickly got married and pregnant with my first son.  At this time, I was starting to eat a little more but not making healthy choices.  I ended up anemic, during my pregnancy, passing out while driving down the expressway.  Once again, Thank you God!  It really wasn't until I got pregnant with my second son, that I started making a point to eat healthier.  It was when he was almost one, right after the sudden loss of my mother, that I began running.  So, at this point, I am starting to get healthier, exercising more regular but still not loving my body. 

Here's the thing, it has taken me 38 years and three kids, to finally start accepting and loving my body.  I think the reason is because I work hard for this body, I make healthy food choices (most of the time) and I FEEL good.  There are still days where I think, if only my booty was a little firmer, I could really do without all this extra momma skin.  lol  But I quickly block those thoughts out of my head because I am realizing that there is a lot more to me than my body.  And I earned that extra skin, I carried three babies in my womb!  More importantly, having a daughter and even 2 sons, I do NOT want my kiddos to grow up thinking the way I did.  I HAVE to set a good example!  I want my daughter to love herself for who she is on the inside!  I want my sons to realize that there is more to a woman than what she looks like on the outside. 

So, my goal as a health and fitness coach is NOT about trying to get others to get to a certain size or weight.  I do not want to promote trying to look like someone else. I don't want people to look at me and think that that's the way they need to look.  What I DO WANT is to show people how to get healthy and that healthy can look different on different people.  People who tell me I'm too skinny now, are wrong, because this is what healthy looks like on ME.  My goal is to help people FEEL better!